Monday, October 26, 2009

If I Was a Billionaire

10/26/09

If I was rollin’ in RMBs (Chinese currency-Renminbi) I would give Chinese people some serious gifts:

1) WD 40:  The terror of the shriek when a man puts on his breaks is a nail-on-a-chalkboard sound if I’ve ever encountered one.  The motorbikes and mopeds need some serious grease to run smoothly on the roads.  I could handle hearing less excruciating sounds on a daily basis.  WD 40 does the trick for us back home; it couldn’t hurt to use it here.

2) A lifetime supply of toothbrushes:  …and floss, toothpaste, mouthwash, etc.  The dental hygiene is nowhere near where it should be.  I am mainly targeting the audience I know best, children.  Just because baby teeth eventually fall out does not mean that kids shouldn’t take care of what’s in their mouths. (The responsibility lies with the parents on this one).  Although I have genetically cavity-prone teeth, I am proud to say I lost my last baby tooth in 8th grade.  I’ve enjoyed brushing for years.

3) Have the entire city of Shanghai attend Traffic 101 classes:  This should really be my number 1.  The insanity that occurs everyday dodging moving vehicles is beyond ridiculous.  Automobiles, motorcycles, and bikes have right of way.  You basically have to have eyes in the back of your head to cross the street successfully.  Also, on the same note, I would have the almost 18 million citizens of Shanghai attend a basic etiquette class.  Manners aren’t available here.  Things that would be learned in this class: refrain from spitting, control the amount of unnecessary stopping in the Metro, CHILD SAFETY, learn how to wait in line, etc.

4) ‘Not Socks’:  Women wearing these halfy stocking thingys that Dillard’s keeps in a box for people to try on shoes is a fashion statement.  Just because they’re sheer, doesn’t mean I can’t see it.  I would love to give millions of ‘not socks’ out to cure this problem.  Or suggest going sock-less, even springing for band-aids on the ankles if blisters form.

5) A safety-approved baby seat (which is put on the backs of bicycles):  This should be a direct number 2.  The insanely unsafe, unstable, piece of nothing seats that people put their most priceless possessions in is mind-boggling.  There are no straps, no custom-fit, no nothing to ensure the safety of kids getting thrown off their parent’s bike.

6) Milk:  They like ice cream enough; they should love all kinds of milk.  They sell it in tiny cartons, they have little variety, and they don’t carry it everywhere.  The most disgusting part, some they sell on the shelf.  I don’t think that’s very natural.  Unfortunately this means that cereal isn’t prevalent here either.

7) Diapers:  Let’s do away with split pants exposing baby genitals and rears.  Poop on the sidewalk and other indecencies of the sort would also be lessened.  Diapers and whole pants would really do wonders for family and public life.  It would also scare a lot less foreigners to see a mother changing her baby’s diaper, not letting him do his business all over the sidewalk.

8) A standard U.S. umbrella:  Chinese umbrellas fold out and up instead of down and under.  They are less durable and hard to un-do.  The water gets trapped in the umbrella when you close it.  The logistics are a little off.  For the amount that it rains here, they need some sturdy umbrellas.

9) Have mandatory driving classes:  These classes would involve a written and driving portion.  A clarification of signage, rules about blinker usage, and caution regarding pedestrians would all be touched on.  And of course, when to turn your car off and on. 

10) The loveliest gift of all - Kleenex:  I’m tired of seeing loogies on the sidewalks, snot running down my kids’ faces, and lack there of paper products in general.  I’m all for ‘reduce, reuse, recycle,’ a theme we learn in my Book 8 class, but throw a girl a bone here!  The Chinese are terrified of getting the Swine Flu, so if refusing to take personal hygiene seriously could potentially become a problem.

Raincoat: Yuyi

 

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Things I Miss: Part 2 (People Edition)


10/20/09

*My Mom's chocolate cake
*Lee’s contagious laugh
*My Dad and my dinner dates
*Poppy’s ‘new golf secrets’
*Mimi’s food, and long conversations. Already getting teary-eyed at the thought of missing Thanksgiving…
*Grumpy’s ‘you’re too little for that’ comments
*Gammy’s advice and how she is brought to tears every time we talk about the time the straw went up my nose [in Houston].

(caption) Wax Yao, my personal Texas connection!

*Sue’s soft-spoken voice
*Watching Mike consume more food than I’ve ever seen before
*Brooke’s ASV cheers
*Jennie and my catch up sessions. And her closet.
*Uncle Irl’s laid-back approach to life, which reduces my stress
level

*Molly’s sarcasm and patience
*Farrell and my love of playing games. And her randomness.
*Amelia’s bear hugs and our shared love of going out on Thursday nights
*Ashley and my long talks and walks

*Making brownies, going to yoga, and doing anything else that involves food and/or exercise with Sheridan.
*Graceann’s sense of humor. Cracking me up everyday and always talking sense into me.
*Katie P’s giggle, chats about music, and our inside jokes. (Vamp joke still makes me laugh before I go to sleep).
*Laughing so, so hard at Hannah’s stories/jokes. And our random text message convos.

*Courtney and my discussions about the world, boys, and politics
*Listening to Death Cab for Cutie and Taylor Swift with MC
*Friesen’s East Texas accent and crazy stories
*Whit Pat’s, ‘babes’
*Julia being ‘Juicer’
*Bruce Brucin’ around

*Malorie’s logic mishaps. Yes, Pocahontas is a real person.
*Dance parties and talking b-school smack with Kelly.
*Amy’s ‘nights.’ I’m talking about Kappa Cocktail…yeah.
*CeCe and my boy bashing sessions

*Going out with Whitney and always having too much fun
*Ali’s crazy lingo
*Hearing about Mary Stewart’s chaotic life. So entertaining and insightful.
*Mallory's confidence in meeting new people, which always become new friends
*Morgan’s sleeping habits
*Meeting Delts and going to trivia night with Mel.
*Watching quality TV with Bailey

*Hanging out with Meega and the rest of Duval
*Charles. And the ridiculousness that comes with him.
*Jordan’s musical funnies. (‘mmm watcha say’ and Black Betty)
*Braxton’s YouTube finds
*Mark reassuring me that I am in fact not that funny

*Colby spotting me when I want to try a new yoga pose
*Todd’s closet
*Feeling so small standing next to Robert

***BIG, BIG thanks to Frances for the treats! Made my day =) (Especially the Orange Gatorade packets…couldn’t be happier!)

Two Chinese Proverbs: 

'Distance tests the endurance of a horse; time reveals a man's character.'

'Wait long, strike fast.'



Thursday, October 15, 2009

My Day of Buff’s

10/15/09

I pulled two major “Buffin’s” today. I think Hallie originally coined the phrase “Oops, I just made a Buffin,” or “Wow, I really Buffed it,” but many have caught on to this trendy saying.

-My First Buff: It happened at lunchtime. We had dumplings today at lunch and were individually served up by the cook. He also brought out a big crock-pot of soup that Chinese people use for dousing their dumplings. The soup was yuck, so I ate mine plain. We always have fruit for dessert and today we had ‘pomelo.’ The best way to describe it is a grapefruit-orange hybrid when it comes to looks, but more similar to grapefruit in flavor. I gave the fruit a second chance today and it was a little better than my first time eating it. The cook put a dispenser full of sugar next to it and at first sight, I grabbed it and sprinkled away on my slice. All the Chinese teachers began to stare at me and laugh. I asked them if it was normal to put sugar on the bitter fruit and they proceeded to tell me that the sugar was for the dumpling dipping sauce. Right………
Round 1: China 1 Buff 0

-My Second Buff: I have a crazy amount of time in between my morning and afternoon classes. I usually spend it eating lunch, going to the DVD store, getting coffee with my married friends, reading, catching up on e-mails when the computer is free, and getting my school supplies together. Really, it’s an absurd amount of time that’s wasted because I have to stay close to the school. Today, I was writing a brief e-mail and the Chinese teachers all at once started filing out the door. They said, “Time to go Buffy.” I told them that I was coming and spent about 50 seconds signing out and getting my backpack. I start racing down the stairs, and at my dismay, I see the van turning out of the school. They were leaving me! I start running frantically down Shanxi Rd (the street our school is on) shouting. They finally stopped and I hopped in the van. I gave them an evil/what-the-eff-are-you-doing-leaving-me stare. Sometimes I think everyone here is just plain crazy.
Round 2: China 2 Buff 0

Although I was slightly embarrassed and annoyed, it was a good day. Because now I have the weekend and a yummy grilled cheese sandwich to look forward to.
Round 3: China 2 Buff 1

Wait!: Deng!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Sympathy: The Original Merriam-Webster Definition

10/13/09

Today Cindy, a cute nugget in my first class at Xiang Yang, sported a sweatshirt that read:

Sympathy:
I just wanna be close to you.
Thank you for touch my mind.
My heart is full of joy.
I’m so glad there you.
You are my flower.

These clever Chinglish slogans are what get me through the day. And my 33 Yuan Starbucks doesn’t hurt either…

Congratulations! May you make lots of money!: Gongxi facai!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Beijing

10/5/09

Pre-Beijing: The past few days we have been planning what we’re going to do for National Week. National “Day” is October 1st and all the citizens of China get a whole week off to celebrate. It’s a proven fact that it’s the largest human migration [every year]. For many reasons we decided to go to Beijing for the holiday. Beijing is the nation’s capital and it’s going to be especially crazy this year due to the 60th anniversary of the People’s Republic of China [political party]. There is going to be a big celebration on the night of the first, which we decided to skip out on and stay in Shanghai until the 2nd. The Mid-Autumn Festival, another Chinese holiday, happens to fall on October 3rd during the week of festivities. For this holiday, families dine together and exchange “mooncakes,” little cakes packed with sweet or savory fillings.

The outline of our trip:

FRIDAY: Hallie and I woke up at 5 AM to go to the Shanghai Hongqiao Airport. We boarded our plane and waited in true Chinese fashion for about an hour and half before we finally took off around 9:30 AM. (We were supposed to leave at 8 AM). We were out in about in Beijing around 12:30 PM where we went straight to the Chinese Box Hostel. It was super quaint and cute, but had one LARGE con. It was also the home to 8 cats. I hate cats and when too close to them I break out into hives.

{Side note: Hallie and I traveled with out two friends, Helen and Elliot. They both teach (through CIEE) in smaller towns around Shanghai. Helen is a sassy, smart, and multi-lingual New York City girl. Elliot is a silly, free spirited, sweet boy from Chapel Hill, NC. We love them both.}

Hallie and I ate dumplings down the road for 7 Yuan a piece. We met up with Elliot and Helen and we headed to the Silk Market. I made my first big purchase buying a new pair of eyeglasses. They’re awesome and huge. After our afternoon shopping, we went back to the hostel for a dumpling making party. It was so fun! By the end of the night I was exhausted. I returned early to my bed not only because I was tired, but I also met an awful person after the dumpling dinner that made me so mad. He was a UT alum who also graduated from McCombs. He was pompous, rude, and made me feel bad about myself, but then I realized I just felt sorry for him. I avoided him the rest of the trip in fear that I would punch him in the face the next time he made a stupid comment to me. And I slept like a rock.

SATURDAY: We woke up early and had breakfast and set out early to conquer Tiananmen Square, the Forbidden City, and the Lama Temple. Tiananmen Square: There were so many people celebrating the Mid-Autumn Festival (lots of families), there was obnoxious Chinese opera music in the background, and rows of floats representing all the provinces of China. We then crossed the street to visit Mao’s house, or The Forbidden City: There is a massive portrait of him hanging in the middle of the entrance gates. The City was a lot bigger than I anticipated. We ate lunch and had some mediocre ice cream at one of the cafes. Elliot insisted on us paying 10 extra Kuai to see the hall of clocks. It was pretty cool. My favorite part of the city was the Imperial Garden. It was filled with exquisite rocks and old buildings.

Our crew refueled with some coffee then we headed to the Lama Temple: Everyone on the temple grounds was on their knees in prayer. Incense was flowing as well. Each section of the temple had beautiful Buddhist statues. Once you thought you had seen the biggest, most intricate one, you moved on to the next room and saw an even more spectacular one. In the last room there was the most massive gold statue that I’ve ever seen. It's called the 'Maitreya Buddha.' It was even a Guinness Book of World Records recipient!

Following a very productive day, we had a very productive night. We went back to the hostel to recuperate and then we were off to a delicious Peking Duck dinner at an upscale restaurant called ‘Da Dong.’ My dad had told me about this “Peking Duck,” and I made a mental note to try one, but I had NO IDEA how amazing it would taste. Oh wow. It’s a big production and our chef came out and cut the duck in front of our table and showed us the three different ways to eat it. Crepe/fajita style, duck in a bun, and duck skin in sugar. All sound kind of bizarre, but OMG it was the best thing I’ve eaten in a long time.

After a ridiculously large dinner, we headed for Olympic Park, home to the Beijing 2008 Summer Olympics. At night the stadiums were lit bright with colors. We saw the ‘Bird’s Nest’ where the opening ceremony took place among many other events. We also saw The Beijing National Aquatic Center. It was really amazing, but the funniest part was that all the Chinese people wanted Hallie and I to take pictures with their families. I’m talking babies, grandmas, and tweens. It was hilarious.

SUNDAY: Helen, Hallie, and I woke up at 5:30 AM to go on a 6-mile Great Wall of China hike. We boarded a van around 6 AM and picked up other hostel goers. We were transferred to a bus with about 30 people on it to embark in our 2-hour ride out to the Wall. When we arrived, I hopped out of the bus and was cold! We started hiking with excitement and I was clicking away with my camera. There are no words to describe the Great Wall. It’s so long, big, and old. It was incredible and has been my favorite site I’ve seen thus far.

Our guide let us loose and basically told us we’d pass through 30 towers, turn left here, be on the look out for the bridge at the end, etc. We think, hah, this 6-mile stroll will be leisurely and relaxing with the awesome weather that came along with it. The first hour and a half was filled with solo shots, deep, clean breaths of mountain air, and appreciation of where we were. We started to count the towers and we had been through, and counted about 7. And the stress of finishing on time was slowly creeping on us. We realized that we had spent about half of our allotted time strolling down the Wall at a snail’s pace.

My camera was immediately packed away in my backpack, the last swig of water was taken, and we started hauling it down the Chinese landmark. This would all be easy if it was flat. However, it was walking up inclines straight up and down for the remainder (about ¾) of the hike. Being the tallest at 5’3, never been able to say THAT before, we had some issues climbing up run down, three-brick-tall stairs. For probably about 45 minutes off and on I was on all fours climbing up the wall. Our legs were losing their functionality and there were times where none of us thought we could continue. But we did, and we even had a few minutes to spare.

The guide people set up a big “boofey” lunch (that’s how the girl kept saying buffet lunch), for everyone in our group. When we got to the restaurant, everyone was looking rough. We inhaled too much food and loaded back on the bus to take us back to the hostel. Helen, Hallie, I grabbed dinner at the dumpling place down the road and then met up with Elliot at the hostel. We watched ‘Pride and Prejudice’ and I fell asleep during my favorite part. That would happen to me….

{Sidenote: After first night, the hostel people moved Helen, Hallie, and I into a suite with a California King Size bed. Because they had overbooked the rooms, we had our own room with a private bathroom and our very own key to our door. It. Was. Awesome. Who doesn't love a giant sleepover?!}

MONDAY: We walked around like zombies all day long (Feeling sorry for our sore bodies after the long hike). First we headed to a Daoism Temple and didn’t want to pay the 40 Yuan to get in so we went to Starbucks instead. We cave in sometimes and it feels so good. I felt out-of-it all day. When I got my new glasses made, I realized that I couldn’t really see out of them. Chinese prescriptions must be stronger than they are in America. We went back to the Silk Market and I got the correct lens put in my frames and got the heck out of there. I ate a delicious Subway sandwich and we met up with Elliot to peruse around the Financial District.

After feeling like we were half asleep all day we finally got into a taxi who proceeded to tell us he didn’t want to take us home because there was ‘too much traffic.’ Helen got sassy with her Chinese (It’s awesome/pretty uncomfortable when she does that) and we got kicked out of the taxi in the middle of the street. We found our way home through the metro, picked up dinner, and began packing up to catch our late night train. It was really hard to say goodbye to Helen and Elliot. Mainly Helen, because we see her less often and she’s the best.

Hallie and I made our way to the Beijing Railway Station and found our D313 train to Shanghai. We had a “soft sleeper” train, which was the only one available and also happens to be the nicest type of train, and we found car 12 and hopped into our compartment fit for four. We waited for about 20 minutes to see who the two lucky people would be to get the sweet pleasure of hanging out with us overnight, but it turns out we were the lucky ones and got the room all to ourselves!

We each had our own TV that played ‘Mr. and Mrs. Smith’ in Chinese. Hallie had seen it and I hadn’t so she gave me the play-by-play while I just kinda made up in my head what Brad and Angelina were saying to each other. I got to write some post cards and read some of my book. The night of sleep was pretty rough, but the experience was an overall good one.

A treat for you: Helen is keeping a blog and I had to pull an excerpt out of it that gave Hallie and I a good giggle…

"Hallie and Buffin were friends before coming to China. They are proud Texans. Hallie rides her horse to school. Buffin polishes her revolver every night. Both obviously wear alligator boots. They recently graduated from UT and were in the same sorority, KKG. Hook 'em.”

Great Wall: Changcheng